You Save Me (For C)

Daily. Immeasurably. Humbly. Beautifully. Amazingly. Astonishingly.  I can’t comprehend how important you have been to me.  You were the first one I told when he was hurting me. You were the first one to listen that day as I let my wall down and cried for you. It took me so long to get the…

One Step Forward, Three Steps Back

So in my Glimmer of Hope post, I know that I was bullshitting the world, because I felt as if I had no hope. It was all for K, because I love her dearly and want her to remain safe. I am tired of fighting. I’ve been fighting for a very long time. I was…

A Glimmer of Hope

Right now K and I are texting. We’ve both really had it rough lately. I’ve been self-harming and have been contemplating suicide, and now so is she. It sucks that we are so far away from each other. I can’t speak for her, but I just feel like I’m done and I don’t know why…

Peppermint Mochas and Faking Sanity

This is the third time I’ve ended up at this coffee shop this week. I mean, it’s always been a comforting place, but now I seek it out just for a touch of normalcy. It’s a place untouched by anything bad (except for the guy that has been texting me and telling me about how…

Thoughts

Lately I’ve spent a lot of time alone. Thinking. And it’s amazing to me what I’ve come up with. I go on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter and read what people have to say and I struggle. The girls screaming for attention and recognition both alarm and inspire me. It’s alarming that they have yet…

Anger

I’m feeling a lot of anger today. I’m having trouble articulating that anger because it’s been raging for quite some time now. Right now, my anger is being placed on others. I hate when I do that. If I’m unhappy, I should be solving it. But here I am, still angry after weeks, months, years.…

Jump

I remember being in support group last semester and we had a discussion about how difficult it is to get into new relationships since we’ve all had our trust violated in a way most people haven’t.  Another girl and I were about to enter new relationships and we weren’t sure we could do it.  We…