Why “loving yourself before you can love others” is a bunch of crap

I get told often that because of what happened to me, I need to build myself up and learn to love myself before I can let anyone in. I don’t understand why learning to love yourself and loving someone else are mutually exclusive things. I’m sick and tired of being told that.

Here’s the thing: my most basic form of trust was violated the day I was raped and I am striving to get it back. I’ve found someone who I’ve been able to trust possibly more than I’ve ever trusted any other human and yeah, I’m in love with him. It happens. And no, things aren’t perfect (they never are) but I don’t believe that being with him is a distraction from fixing myself… I’m pretty sure I’m being loved while I fix myself, and isn’t that what everyone needs?

C

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