Right now K and I are texting. We’ve both really had it rough lately. I’ve been self-harming and have been contemplating suicide, and now so is she. It sucks that we are so far away from each other. I can’t speak for her, but I just feel like I’m done and I don’t know why I continue to do what I do. I don’t know why I’m trying to act like a normal human being again. But when I hear K talk about feeling the same way, my heart breaks and I get optimistic for her. If I’m going to be that way for her, I might as well hope for myself too.
We’ve been fighting for a long time since we’ve always had bad things happen to us. And it’s a bunch of shit. We don’t deserve it. We’re tired of fighting. It’s really draining. I’m looking forward to her coming to school with me next year though. It will help. We can fight together and push each other to keep going and we will get past this. We will prove to ourselves and others that we’re not broken and our issues do not define us. We will learn how to be content with our lives.
K, please hang in there. You and I have been friends for eight years now. I need you to be here. You’re wonderful. I’ll be your glimmer of hope if you need it.